Constantly. Constantly on my mind.
Trembling anxieties, bitterness and animosities.
Constantly on my mind and I use it as motivation.
I picture the pain I feel in my life and I use that.
My body is fixating, gathering energy.
I run. I lift. I push and pull. I write it down. I pour out my strength. I leave everything in the pool.
I remember those most self-indulgent, egotistical, pandering ways and it gives me focus, the drive to hone myself .
I’m reading again. I’m painting again.
I am practicing myself again, every day.
A trail of old habits lies behind me like clothes being shed as you ascend the stairs.
All the noise, the static and wash of dissatisfaction and resentment in my ears, is replaced with clarity as I exhaust the physical body and center the spiritual one.
I am training myself. Disciplining myself.
I will be the greatest version of myself at all times. I will represent myself with respect and confidence.
I will not lie to myself. I will not give in to give up. I will come to terms with myself and accept an agreement with myself.
Embrace the pain. Hold it close through your day and as you sleep. It is the sharpener to the sword that is you.
Allow your pain to bring you joy, to bring fight to your spirit, to help you destroy all the things that separate you from yourself.
And for this benefit, I forgive all sources of my pain, and vow to never forget any of them along the road to peace.